When You’re Losing Your Dreams, Hold On Tight…

Wednesday May 19

Scholars Cup

Over 35s 1 v YIS Teachers 2

The Over 35s checked back in to Heartbreak Hotel on the evening of May 19 after a shock home defeat to the YIS Teachers in the Scholars Cup.

Waruguchi-san at reception gave us the same basement “suite” we got after our loss to the Seconds a month earlier and minded us, with a last-gasp kick on the counter, to clean up before we check out this time.

We groaned at the memories on our way back downstairs to Room 101, and our mood would only sour further when we opened the door. The stench of eleven unfinished fourth pizza quarters and spilt “Strong Off” happoshu had us breathlessly trotting for the window before we remembered—bless us—there is no window in Heartbreak Hotel Room 101.

Defeat to the Seconds and the Teachers puts you in a room with no view. A hell hole. An end-of-season footballing prison from which there can be no Escape to Victory starring Russell Brown’s mate Ossie Ardiles or crucial last-minute penalty save by S.Litster Stallone.

Left with little alternative, we “knuckled down” on our cans of Strong Off and “got on with it.”

Down from the dartboard came the tattered remnants of our sketched likeness of Seconds striker Matt Wallace and up in its place went a caricature of Teachers CB Julian Weekes. Both these players are perennial pains in the Silvers’ backside and it can be no coincidence that were their names combined on a Scrabble letter rack you’d need only an “r” to give you THREE of the more offensive insults on World Cup referees’ blatantly discriminatory list of twenty English swear words.

The Over 35s again played some of the best darts of our lives as we reflected on the evening’s loss in the football.

Dodgy Spark Plugs?
For the Silver Machine, the First Quarter was akin to watching an elderly relative play his first game of Mario Kart. We frantically sat there on the start line while the Teachers shifted cheerily through the gears and accelerated away. Alex Thomas looked a real find for YIS in the heart of midfield, while Colin Campbell in front of him was a familiar probing threat. We’d only just discovered the “A” button when the Teachers plundered the first, spiraling over the line off a Silvers banana skin.

It went like this. The Fives defense could only half clear a deadball situation at the Swimming Pool End, and the ball was promptly lofted straight back into the mixer, too deep though surely to be of any danger. In fact it looked at first as if the ball would sail clear of the bar, but slightly worryingly it dipped at the last moment onto the outstretched palms of Simon Litster in goal. A comfortable save for the big man, you’d think. Alas, the Club’s new president, a top class rugby player in his prime, somehow mishandled the ball onto the crossbar, from whence it bounced onto the head of Sniffer Weekes and into the back of the net. 0-1.

Fives’ Captain Gordon Deas dropped a metaphorical hand grenade on the troops in the first quarter interval and we trotted out second quarter on a mission. Our tackling was a bit sharper in this period, the passes a little crisper, and finally we began to exert some influence on the game.

One good passing spell down the left in this quarter culminated in Russell Brown striking a belter from the edge of the box that flew into the top right corner. Yet another classic strike from Russell under pressure, this one finding the only vacant spot between Trevor Kew’s outstretched fingertips and the angle between post and crossbar. (You’ll find no mention here of the fact that in his private life Russell is a teacher at YIS.)

The match was now more evenly contested. For the Fives, Andrew Barrett and Alan Plater up front fought manfully against the tough-tackling Teachers rearguard, both players striking shots which hit the upright. Jerome Bruhat was another who stood out for the Silvers on the night, one superb jinking Jerome run down the left being cynically cut short on the edge of the box by Weekes.

And who else but Weekes could it be to settle this contest? A needlessly conceded corner at the SPE was whipped over by Campbell directly onto the head of the unmarked Sniffer six yards out and—nod—the game was up. The teachers even added a third in the closing minutes, this very decent effort from Makoto Kosaka (I think) being wrongly ruled out for offside.

The Fives too had their beef with the officials in this match—apparently pushing in the box is perfectly legitimate in Scholars Cup fixtures—but at the end of the day, Brian, we just weren’t good enough.

Just Remember the Pitch in December

The very fact of this match report reveals that we have at last checked out of Heartbreak Hotel and are currently “moving on,” just in time for the World Cup. Needless to say, there is no TV in Heartbreak Hotel, at least not one that works.

YC&AC Over 35s would like to put on record our thanks to the school’s outgoing Headmaster Simon Taylor and his teachers for keeping the Scholars Cup tradition alive. We know you had difficulties getting your best players together at one time for this match and we were delighted when the fixture could eventually be arranged. Well done everyone, in fact, for coming out on a Wednesday night at what for many of us is a busy time of year.

Sadly five of the teachers who played in the 2010 Scholars Cup are leaving the school this year: Simon Taylor, Dan Cowan, Colin Campbell, Jamie Green and Stephen McIlroy. The very best of luck to all of them on their travels. New headmaster James McDonald will have done well in his recruiting if he’s managed to find a replacement for Colin Campbell in his midfield, while next year’s Food Fair will not be the same without the musical contribution of said Campbell, Cowan and McIlroy. I know Stephen in particular will appreciate the musical clip below.

See the rest of you next season!

We can win.

By Alex Hendy

Squads
YIS: Kristen Blum, Colin Campbell, Dan Cowan, Jamie Green, Trevor Kew (GK), Makoto Kosaka (PE), Simon Lorimer, James McDonald (DHM), Stephen McIlroy, David Noon (PE, AM/PM), Bob Pomeroy (IT), Dan Reynolds (PE), Simon Taylor (HM), Alex Thomas (PE), Julian Weekes

Silver Machine: Marc Bailey, Andrew Barrett, Russell Brown, Jerome Bruhut, Gareth Cardiff, Gordon Deas (C), Alex Hendy, Andreas Hirl, Ippei Iwasaki, Simon Litster (GK), Alan Plater (SA), Petr Vyvial, Simon Warburton

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