Saturday October 16, 12:30

YC&AC Over 35s 5 v Marinos Papas 1

The Over 35s gathered in the usual circle before this match looking not so much like a squad as a squid, or similar soft-bodied invertebrate. The spine of our regular side was missing, you see—GK Greg Lyon, Captain Gordon Deas, MVP Russell Brown and Golden Slipper Alan Plater were all away—and yet we were still a large, mobile and very tasty-looking cephalapod.

In for Greg in goal came a slightly underage but equally sticky-tentacled Ika Casillas (aka Zak Niederhauser). In central midfield we welcomed back the excellent Patrick “Under My Rock” Newell for his first start this season. In defense, we were delighted to be able to select two of the better players [winks] from the Secunds, Steve Taw and Phil Denham.

Patrick

The Over 35s would like to thank the aforementioned men in particular for answering our Supreme Administrator’s emergency call for legs. In addition to these players, we welcomed into our many slippery limbs debutant Stefano Prandi. Oh, and One Kevin Carden was there too.

Kevin had not been seen inside the white lines of a football pitch since suffering a near fatal case of knee snap at the end of last season, but bravely limped forward on this day for one last Yaguchidai stand before slipping away to Thailand. Our long-serving right back and Tesco frontiersman received a well deserved loud round of applause from the squid before kick off, when prayers were also offered for a big lead in advance of his fourth-quarter introduction.

Our opponent on what was another beautiful autumn lunchtime would be the Marinos Papas, a team founded just a few years previously and comprising fathers of boys in the professional Yokohama Marinos academy. The naive, fun-loving Papas used to be easy prey for the Over 35s, but increasingly have been made of less palatable stuff. Indeed, in the corresponding fixture last season a horribly determined Papas forced a 0-0 draw out of us, a result which marked a low point in modern Over 35s football history. Regular Fives knew that the Papas—expertly coached by the Club’s good friend Kanbayashi-san—would be looking forward to this one, and that we would need to be at our best to prevent a calamarity. [Concentrate.]

We lined up in the usual 4-5-1 formation and steeled ourselves.

Peeep!

GOAL! The Fives raced into an early lead first quarter with a typical piece of quality football from the irrepressible Andrew Barrett, our spearhead on the day in the absence through injury of the Supreme Administrator. AB took control of a well-timed through ball from erstwhile Secunds danger man now Our Man William Brady, rounded the familiar chunky form of the Marinos keeper and coolly slotted in. 1-0

GOAL! Andrew had barely got back into his own half before the Papas equalized, a rare moment of confusion in our back four being ruthlessly pounced upon by one of their chaps and noisily celebrated both on the pitch and in the Water Barrel Enclosure, where the home support was outnumbered by a factor of at least 20:1. 1-1.

GOAL! Second quarter and at last we started to boss it. Our superiority was confirmed when another superb long Chris Harrington throw-in was emphatically headed home at the summit of his leap by Darren Buckley. 2-1

Darren, who missed the whole of last season with knee knack, had looked terrific for us on his return, but incredibly would do his other knee late on in this game, and sadly appears set for another long spell on the sidelines. Get well soon, Darren.

The Papas meanwhile were playing their usual tidy game, a high defensive line condensing play in the middle third and asking questions of the pace of our forwards. Going forward the Papas lacked the threat of an AB or AP, but nevertheless drew fine performances from each member of our back four, with Boz again playing a blinder and Phil as always oozing class.

GOAL! Andrew Barrett provided an emphatic answer to the aforementioned question of pace in this quarter, brilliantly striking a long pass over the top from Andreas Hirl directly into the back of the net from some forty yards out. Chris Binz would have been impressed.

Bounce. Look up. THUMP! 3-1 What a strike that was! It was the sort of goal the Papas could only dream of scoring, and psychologically if not mathematically it put the game out of the opposition’s reach.

GOAL! And it was that man Barrett again, this time latching onto a fine through ball from marauding Fives’ defender Andreas Hirl before calmly tucking the chance away. 4-1

The Fives completed the scoring in the final quarter with a great goal that began on the edge of our own area, Kevin passing to Darren who released our No. 17 over the top down the right and who finished with uncustomary style, sidefooting the chance to the right of the outrushing keeper and just inside the near post. Clinical. 5-1

With the game now surely safe, Kevin was offered the opportunity to play higher up the pitch for the final 10 minutes, the Fives risking three at the back to afford Kevin the opportunity to add to his solitary strike for the Club.

And the Fives fans in the Water Barrel Enclosure stood in thrall when Phil, wide on the left, picked out Kevin at the far stick for what might have been the goal of any season. Phil’s whipped cross brushed off the top of a desperately leaping Kevin’s head, to loud groans of mirth and disappointment in equal measure. Shortly afterwards, Kevin had yet one more chance, albeit a tricky one of a sort that even John Utaka might have spurned. Unfortunately the chance not only went begging but also induced a recurrence of Kevin’s old knee injury and enforced his untimely substitution.

The referee had seen enough, and that was that.

Many thanks again to those who came in to help out, and to the Papas, who stuck around for beers and stuff afterwards and on the pitch maintained their status as the Fives’ favourite opposition (after Johnson & Johnson).

Click to enlarge. For those fortunate enough never to have met him, Kevin is the one with a white boot on the red carpet.

He will never be left on the shelf (unlike Tesco brand tofu…)

By Alex Hendy

Goals: Andrew Barrett (3), Darren Buckley, Alex Hendy

Tullett Prebon Man of the Match: Andrew Barrett

Officials: Good

Attendance: The away support in particular was terrific

Over 35s 2 v KRAC 3

In the past I’ve written long reports about our Interport adventures. This year’s report will be short. Don’t think me unkind. Words are hard to find.

De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da:

Tennis: Cancelled (weather)

Badminton: Lost

Mixed hockey: Lost

Firsts: Drawn (2-2)

Over 35s: Lost (2-3)

Darts: Won (10-3)

Snooker: Won (5-2)

Cricket: Cancelled (weather)

KRAC retain the Interport.

Those of you paying attention there will have calculated that a positive result for the Over 35s would have seen the Interport trophy return to its rightful home in Yokohama. For many of the usual reasons when we play Kobe, that wasn’t to be.

Somehow we conceded thrice in this match—on each occasion to attacks on the counter—and were only able to force two goals in reply. The Over 35s by no means played badly and, On Any Other Day, would have ground out the victory. This being the Interport, however, there was a Ghost in the Machine.

Synchronicity

Once again this venerable fixture was marred by poor sportsmanship from one or two of our opponents and by the over-active involvement of the world’s worst linesman. Where oh where do these flaggers come from? I think we should be told.

The KRAC goals you’ve heard enough about already: flukes against the run of play. For the Fives…

Our first (1-2) was a clipped Andrew Barrett effort following great work down our left flank by Sada Hosogai and Gareth Cardiff. This combination looked threatening all afternoon and could well be the source of many more goals in the long season ahead.

Our second (2-3) was a Russell Brown pearler direct from a corner. In his post-match interview, Russell said he had looked up to see nothing obvious on by way of a cross, so went instead for the shot. Yet another classic strike for the Russell Brown Collection.

It’s Alright For You, Russell. YCAC’s No. 17 has rather more difficulty with his shooting. Late in the fourth quarter, having beaten the KRAC offside trap and finding himself bearing down on GK Aftab 30 yards out, yours truly favoured a square-ish ball into the path of the onrunning Gareth in preference to bursting the net with a low piledriver, and duly overhit the pass. It was a golden opportunity to level proceedings, and the silence that followed it left me feeling So Lonely.

The historical record must also show that for the first time in at least a couple of seasons we had a player sent off—a straight red for a mild expression of irritation following a typical piece of niggling provocation from a KRAC player. “Don’t Stand So Close to Me,” AB had appeared to protest, much to the linesman’s apparent annoyance. The whole episode was a near duplicate of the sending off in the Firsts’ game immediately beforehand, when the same linesman came dashing onto the field—giant steps are not what he took—to advise the referee of something-and-nothing similar following an almost laughable act of cynicism from a Kobe player.

Captain Gordon Deas had asked us before kick-off not to get wound up by certain KRAC players’ antics and to respect the officials, but when a linesman is watching Every Breath You Take…

“Roxanne! You don’t have to put up the red card. Roxanne! Walk the pitch for money, you don’t care if it’s wrong or if it’s right….”

There was a little black spot on the sun this day. Throughout the match, the rain fell steadily, heavily, horizontally at times, until suddenly it was all over again.

Bring on the Night

Following the football, comprehensive victories in the darts and snooker (including two wins over the King of Pain) helped ease our suffering before dinner was served in the newly refurbished room that was formerly the library. (When the World is Running Down, You Make the Best of What’s Still Around.)

Sada Hosogai exhibited a bunch of his old YCAC shirts alongside less attractive offerings from Kobe. Vintage YCAC rugby shirts were also on display, some of them washed.

Ancient Interport trophies survived their re-entry into the Earth’s atmosphere, as did some interesting old photo albums of Interport happenings past. Remarkably, Fives’ defender Ippei Iwasaki stumbled across this old picture of the YCAC team he represented in the Interport back in 1969.

1969… Brings us back, rather conveniently, to the subject of the officials.

By Alex Hendy

Goals: Andrew Barrett, Russell Brown

Tullett Prebon Man of the Match: Greg Lyon (that’s two in a row now for GK Greg)

Officials: Linesman had the ref Wrapped Around His Finger

Attendance: The stadium rocked

Over 35s 1 v Firsts/Secunds 2

How many YC&AC Second Team players does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they’re used to living in the shadows.

The last two matches between YC&AC’s premier football outfit, the Over 35s, and the Club’s second team, the Secunds, have been close-fought affairs, with little if anything to show between the two sides except for the Over 35s’ all-round superiority and the sheer good fortune of the shadow dwellers.

In October 2009 the Silver Machine was 3-2 in front with just five minutes to go when Karl Hahne popped up in a crowded box and leveled things. Worse, in April this year, the Number Twos’ Matt Wallace struck the only goal of a game dominated by the Fives with barely a minute left to play. A classic case of candlelight robbery.

Perhaps fearing their remarkable run of luck was about to come to an end, on October 2 the Seconds fielded a side half-full of First teamers, among them Dickie Philo, Russ Philp, Ben Montgomery, Simon Carden, Some Other Bloke and Another Chap. All rather disheartening.

The difference in quality, strength and pace from what we are used to from the Seconds was so glaring at the start that we had to shield our eyes and back away. Our defense appeared dazzled any time the ball was lofted into the box. Crosses from the wings that would normally be hacked high into the Yaguchidai sky by our trusty defenders were either ignored entirely or deferentially presented for stuffing into the back of the net. The game was at its first interval by the time our eyes had adjusted to the light, and in the circumstances we were pleased to come in at just 0-2 down.

Revolution, No. 9

Showing the character and team spirit that sets the Over 35s apart from other football teams, we went out second quarter on the offensive. And thrillingly our determination was rewarded early on when a long Chris Harrington throw was flicked on by one of their lads before falling in super slow motion to an unmarked Simon Warburton at the far stick. Our would-be No. 9 timed his leap like a wise old dog on the day’s 10th choccie treat and gobbled up the chance. 1-2.

The goal seemed completely to transform the game.

For the rest of this match we were really very good indeed, snapping into tackles, passing the ball around patiently and probing for the openings. Chances were hard to come by, but on a couple of occasions we might just have equalized. Released down the inside left channel, Andy Barrett shot narrowly wide when he might have squared to an unmarked Alan Plater or No. 17 arriving in the box, and the same No. 17 later hit the crossbar with a cunning left-foot lob over the keeper.

The Seconds meanwhile played their football on the counter, which with their pace and passing skills was at times an effective strategy. We defended from the front however, with the aforementioned Andy and Alan putting in tireless shifts, and at the back held a line that caught the Seconds offside time and time again. When the opposition did break through our defensive ranks, Greg Lyon in goal was more than their equal, rushing out to block at feet and pulling off two or three outstanding saves.

1-2 it finished, then. Well played the Seconds, but even better played the Fives. Once again we can consider ourselves unlucky not to have got anything out of this game, except of course for the usual feeling of moral superiority that is part and parcel of being a Five.

By Alex Hendy

Goals: Simon Warburton

Tullett Prebon Man of the Match: Greg Lyon

Referee: Very good

Attendance: Double figures

YC&AC Over 35s 4 v Midorigaoka 3

For a vintage motor like the Silver Machine, inactivity over the summer months can lead to irreparable damage. Paint can blister; metal can rust; precision-fit internal engine parts can seize.

So when turning the ignition for the first time in months last Saturday it was a pleasant surprise to hear the familiar sound of 420 silver horses breaking into a canter.

We were just five minutes down the road and cruising towards the swimming pool when Alan Plater notched our first of the new campaign. Will Brady released our lone striker through the middle and Alan finished with customary aplomb.

The wind was in our hair now on what was a beauteous autumn afternoon and, feeling a bit carefree, we eased off the gas and rolled down the roof, all the better to enjoy the view.

Good heavens, look at the pace on their No. 13 as he surges into that wide open space down our left. BOOF! Good shot on him too.

And another one! Something wrong with the alternator here, we’d better get back to the garage.

Oh, what now! A hopeful ball over the top bounces benignly in front of Christopher Binz, who is trotting after it, moderately under pressure, forty yards away from a spectacular own goal.

“You are joking,” says Captain Gordon Deas on the sidelines as CLUNK! Chris skies a clearance of Swedish imagination in the approximate direction of Bobby Houghton’s back garden. The ball bounces once behind GK Grey Lyon before bulging the roof of the net.

1-3 at half-time.

Gordon’s first actions at the interval were to slam down the soft top and yank up the bonnet. Adjustments to the vehicle’s dynamics were implemented, and we went back out firing on all cylinders.

It wasn’t long before Alan made it 2-3 with a typical poacher’s strike at the Paul Blamire Shed End, this following great work down the right from a late-arriving Russell “Cross Country” Brown.

And at the beginning of the fourth quarter, Gordon was rewarded for an industrious overlap run, again down the right, when his cross-cum-shot from close to the byline was caught by Midorigaoka’s stand-in goalie Zak Niederhauser standing a foot or so over the line at his near post. YCAC appeals were loud and celebratory; the linesman duly flagged for the goal.

Victory for the Over 35s now seemed inevitable as Midorigaoka, demoralised, visibly wilted in the face of sustained YCAC pressure.

But the winning goal, when it came, was a bit of a classic, certainly an early contender for goal of the season.

Our No. 17 exchanged passes with Russell down the right before spearing the ball back to Gordon 20 yards out, right-central at the PBSE. Gordon fired the ball into the area first time, shin height at pace towards Alan, ten yards out with his back to goal. Instinctively, one supposes, our Supreme Administrator swiveled onto the shot and sent a brilliant half volley zooming into the bottom right hand corner, just past the outstretched fingertips of Zak, whose fine attempt at a save only made the goal look even better.

4-3 it finished, and it was off to the Breezeway for a precautionary service.

By Alex Hendy

Goals: Alan Plater (3), Gordon Deas (1)

Tullett Prebon Man of the Match: Alan Plater

Referee: Very good

Attendance: Double figures

Scholars Cup

Over 35s 1 v YIS Teachers 2

The Over 35s checked back in to Heartbreak Hotel on the evening of May 19 after a shock home defeat to the YIS Teachers in the Scholars Cup.

Waruguchi-san at reception gave us the same basement “suite” we got after our loss to the Seconds a month earlier and minded us, with a last-gasp kick on the counter, to clean up before we check out this time.

We groaned at the memories on our way back downstairs to Room 101, and our mood would only sour further when we opened the door. The stench of eleven unfinished fourth pizza quarters and spilt “Strong Off” happoshu had us breathlessly trotting for the window before we remembered—bless us—there is no window in Heartbreak Hotel Room 101.

Defeat to the Seconds and the Teachers puts you in a room with no view. A hell hole. An end-of-season footballing prison from which there can be no Escape to Victory starring Russell Brown’s mate Ossie Ardiles or crucial last-minute penalty save by S.Litster Stallone.

Left with little alternative, we “knuckled down” on our cans of Strong Off and “got on with it.”

Down from the dartboard came the tattered remnants of our sketched likeness of Seconds striker Matt Wallace and up in its place went a caricature of Teachers CB Julian Weekes. Both these players are perennial pains in the Silvers’ backside and it can be no coincidence that were their names combined on a Scrabble letter rack you’d need only an “r” to give you THREE of the more offensive insults on World Cup referees’ blatantly discriminatory list of twenty English swear words.

The Over 35s again played some of the best darts of our lives as we reflected on the evening’s loss in the football.

Dodgy Spark Plugs?
For the Silver Machine, the First Quarter was akin to watching an elderly relative play his first game of Mario Kart. We frantically sat there on the start line while the Teachers shifted cheerily through the gears and accelerated away. Alex Thomas looked a real find for YIS in the heart of midfield, while Colin Campbell in front of him was a familiar probing threat. We’d only just discovered the “A” button when the Teachers plundered the first, spiraling over the line off a Silvers banana skin.

It went like this. The Fives defense could only half clear a deadball situation at the Swimming Pool End, and the ball was promptly lofted straight back into the mixer, too deep though surely to be of any danger. In fact it looked at first as if the ball would sail clear of the bar, but slightly worryingly it dipped at the last moment onto the outstretched palms of Simon Litster in goal. A comfortable save for the big man, you’d think. Alas, the Club’s new president, a top class rugby player in his prime, somehow mishandled the ball onto the crossbar, from whence it bounced onto the head of Sniffer Weekes and into the back of the net. 0-1.

Fives’ Captain Gordon Deas dropped a metaphorical hand grenade on the troops in the first quarter interval and we trotted out second quarter on a mission. Our tackling was a bit sharper in this period, the passes a little crisper, and finally we began to exert some influence on the game.

One good passing spell down the left in this quarter culminated in Russell Brown striking a belter from the edge of the box that flew into the top right corner. Yet another classic strike from Russell under pressure, this one finding the only vacant spot between Trevor Kew’s outstretched fingertips and the angle between post and crossbar. (You’ll find no mention here of the fact that in his private life Russell is a teacher at YIS.)

The match was now more evenly contested. For the Fives, Andrew Barrett and Alan Plater up front fought manfully against the tough-tackling Teachers rearguard, both players striking shots which hit the upright. Jerome Bruhat was another who stood out for the Silvers on the night, one superb jinking Jerome run down the left being cynically cut short on the edge of the box by Weekes.

And who else but Weekes could it be to settle this contest? A needlessly conceded corner at the SPE was whipped over by Campbell directly onto the head of the unmarked Sniffer six yards out and—nod—the game was up. The teachers even added a third in the closing minutes, this very decent effort from Makoto Kosaka (I think) being wrongly ruled out for offside.

The Fives too had their beef with the officials in this match—apparently pushing in the box is perfectly legitimate in Scholars Cup fixtures—but at the end of the day, Brian, we just weren’t good enough.

Just Remember the Pitch in December

The very fact of this match report reveals that we have at last checked out of Heartbreak Hotel and are currently “moving on,” just in time for the World Cup. Needless to say, there is no TV in Heartbreak Hotel, at least not one that works.

YC&AC Over 35s would like to put on record our thanks to the school’s outgoing Headmaster Simon Taylor and his teachers for keeping the Scholars Cup tradition alive. We know you had difficulties getting your best players together at one time for this match and we were delighted when the fixture could eventually be arranged. Well done everyone, in fact, for coming out on a Wednesday night at what for many of us is a busy time of year.

Sadly five of the teachers who played in the 2010 Scholars Cup are leaving the school this year: Simon Taylor, Dan Cowan, Colin Campbell, Jamie Green and Stephen McIlroy. The very best of luck to all of them on their travels. New headmaster James McDonald will have done well in his recruiting if he’s managed to find a replacement for Colin Campbell in his midfield, while next year’s Food Fair will not be the same without the musical contribution of said Campbell, Cowan and McIlroy. I know Stephen in particular will appreciate the musical clip below.

See the rest of you next season!

We can win.

By Alex Hendy

Squads
YIS: Kristen Blum, Colin Campbell, Dan Cowan, Jamie Green, Trevor Kew (GK), Makoto Kosaka (PE), Simon Lorimer, James McDonald (DHM), Stephen McIlroy, David Noon (PE, AM/PM), Bob Pomeroy (IT), Dan Reynolds (PE), Simon Taylor (HM), Alex Thomas (PE), Julian Weekes

Silver Machine: Marc Bailey, Andrew Barrett, Russell Brown, Jerome Bruhut, Gareth Cardiff, Gordon Deas (C), Alex Hendy, Andreas Hirl, Ippei Iwasaki, Simon Litster (GK), Alan Plater (SA), Petr Vyvial, Simon Warburton

Hendy Cup

Over 35s 0 v Seconds 1

A very evenly contested Hendy Cup ended in heartbreak again for the Over 35s when, with barely a minute remaining on the clock, young striker Matt Wallace for the Seconds finally escaped the attentions of Fives’ centreback Andreas Hirl, raced on to a sweet through ball from deep central mid and speared an excellent low finish past Greg Lyon in goal.

For long spells in this one the Fives had been the better side. Indeed the first two quarters were played almost entirely in the Seconds’ half of the pitch. Such was our dominance early on that the aforementioned Wallace resorted to barracking his defenders for not hacking the ball away further so that he could have a touch.

Our sustained pressure in this period against a hardworking and resilient Seconds’ rearguard appeared to pay dividends when yours truly was unexpectedly dumped to the turf with his back to goal on the edge of the six-yard box and a penalty was awarded. A couple of the Seconds protested that our No. 17 had gone down too easily, but as most of the complainants surely well know, at a certain age and weight tumbles tend to happen when both feet are not firmly upon the ground and a great oaf comes marching through the back of you. A PK in this writer’s opinion, albeit a silly one to concede.

The debate in any case would prove academic, as Fives’ geometrician Russell Brown got his angles wrong from the penalty spot, correctly curling his shot beyond the reach of colleague Trevor Kew in the Seconds’ goal but over the crossbar and beyond to the tennis courts.

Love all?

And those, I’m afraid, are about the only incidents which, at this late stage, I can recall. Please help out in the comments if you can remember anything you think is worth committing to the historical record.

In summary, a good game of football played in an unusually friendly spirit in which the Seconds appeared surprised at times by the quality of our play but held on and then cruelly punished us with a moment of pace and quality at the death.

By Alex Hendy

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Saturday May 1

Over 35s 3 v Midorigaoka 0

This, I think we all agree, was the performance of the season from the Over 35s. We were absolutely terrific in this game: committed, expansive, accurate, lethal… much too good for a Midorigaoka side which often causes us problems. Indeed some of the Ms looked gratifyingly distraught about their unravelling here.

Our goals, for the record, came from Alan Plater who, after an eternity out with a hammy, was back to his marauding best; Andrew Barrett, with whom Alan struck up an excellent new two-top partnership; and waltzing Welsh wing wizard Gareth Cardiff, who finally struck his first goal for the Silvers in this his debut season.

This magnificent display by the Fives was unfortunately marred by the serious knee injury sustained to One Kevin Carden, whose life at one point looked to be in danger as he lay motionless on the turf after crumbling under the robust challenge of some Midorigaoka midfielder.

Kevin thankfully survived and even made it for most of the YIS Food Fair the next day, but sadly he’s probably several months short of being fit for tomorrow’s final match of the season against the YIS teachers. No doubt the teachers will be looking to exploit the inexperience of Kevin’s replacement in the game tomorrow. We must be on our guard.

They don’t like it up ‘em

Again, it’s been some while since this game was played, and any specific memories or comments about the goals (can’t recall) or the match in general would be most welcome.

By Alex Hendy

March 20, 2010

Over 35s 1 v Bacchus 1

Bacchus. A team with a name and attitude we like. First encountered in an eight-a-side game at Shin Yoko last year, Bacchus are not the youngest and not perhaps the most skillful, but they play to win and do so with great spirit. What is more, they like a drink.

It was a windy day on the hill for this one. In the first quarter we enjoyed the spectacle of a Breezeway chair making the rapid bounding trip from one end of the Water Barrel Enclosure to the other. It was quite a sight, one indeed to rival the descent of the Tangerine Dream cloud a couple of years back.

We had just 11 players at kick-off. Ace CB Chris B had narrowly failed to make the start, forcing appointed stand-in captain me to ask for volunteers for the vacant centreback slot. None were forthcoming, so I appealed to a reluctant-looking Russell Brown to fill in alongside Buddha.

This tactical masterstroke was soon punished when, after a little period of sustained pressure from Bacchus, our man Russell was beaten over the top with a horrible loopy one that got stuck on the wind. The ball eventually dropped into the path of the loitering Bacchian striker, who staggered on to the opportunity before throwing up past Greg Lyon in goal.

The Bacchus spearhead steals between Russell and Buddha before unloading past Greg Tyger in the Over 35s goal

0-1.

The quarter-time interval couldn’t come soon enough as Bacchus reveled in our plodding shapelessness. With too many men playing out of position we looked disheveled, whereas by contrast the oppo appeared to enjoy long moments of clarity.

In time-honoured Silver Machine style, however, we restored equity in the first quarter through sheer force of will. The goal in fact owed everything to the power closeted in the right leg of Andy Chambers. Andy appeared unfazed by the step up in quality from the Seconds as he took command of a free kick situation twenty yards out at the Swimming Pool End.

THUMP! Russell was the last to get out of the way of Andy’s fiercely driven free kick, the ball deflecting off his out-flicked instep into the back of the net for Russell’s seventh goal of a highly productive season. When you add in all his assists and his remarkable consistency in the heart of midfield, Russell has to be a strong contender for Player of the Year.

1-1.

In the same quarter we won yet another dodgy penalty for handball. Andrew Barrett, scorer of five goals on his previous outing, took the ball offered to him by our regular PK taker Russell, put it down confidently upon the spot and…

BLAST! Over the crossbar the ball flew, over the diving board it soared, over the trees and houses, down the hill to Yamate Station where, no doubt, it bounced once on the platform and through the closing doors of an Ofuna-bound Keihin Tohoku train. Certainly the ball has yet to be returned, and it was interesting to note in our next game that the new match ball had been stamped with a “return-to-sender” motif and the YC&AC address.

Thereafter it was nip and tuck and doh! for the rest of the match. We had two or three cleared off the line from corners and subsequent goalmouth scrambles, and suffered one plainly wrong offside call when Andrew was put clean through for what would have been a glorious chance.

On the whole though a draw was looking a fair result when…

Bacchus poured forward on the counter and found themselves two against One Kevin Carden near the PK spot. Kevin manfully attempted to hack away a clearance, but the ball broke back off our player and into the path of one of the Bacchian disciples, who duly chundered an effort past Greg in goal to secure what looked to be a last-gulp 2-1 victory.

Very fortunately for us, the goal was wrongly ruled out for offside, the linesman in question even ruefully admitting his error after the game. The incident would prove to be the last action of the match, and 1-1 was how it finished.

Cheers.

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A Lot of Rubbish

March 27, 2010

Over 35s 2 v Bella 5

This was an altogether less enjoyable game than our previous–a hangover, if you will–against a team whose name I’m not too sure about. Bella? Verra? Who knows?

It’s not terribly important though, because somehow I don’t think these boys will be back. One or two of their players objected to our sometimes overtly physical approach to the game, just as one or two of our players objected to theirs. All in all, a most unfriendly of friendlies, this.

And it ended in a 2-5 defeat.

Andrew Barrett put us 1-0 up very early on thanks to a horrendous keeper’s blunder at–where else!–the Paul Blamire Shed End, but for one reason or another we didn’t get our football going at all in this one, at least not until much too late in the day. Missing Captain Gordon Deas and one or two other key players again, we were second best in most departments in a game that on another day we might have won.

For the record, our second goal came from Andy Chambers–the game’s dominant player–who scored with a fine strike in the final quarter as we staged an impressive late rally and restored a little bit of Over 35s pride.

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A Lot of Fun

April 10, 2010

Over 35s 6 v Robert Walters Clash 3

The Over 35s put in one of our better performances of the season in overcoming Tokyo Metropolis League Div. 3 mid-tablers Robert Walters Clash. The goals flew in thick and fast at both ends in what was an open and enjoyable game. (You can read the Clash’s summary of the game here.)

Our first arrived very early on in somewhat comedic circumstances, a Clash defender failing to overcome his surprise at the distance on Chris “Rory” Harrington’s long throw and pirouetting the ball into his own net.

The Clash however soon leveled the scores in a manner I don’t recall.

Our second came not long afterwards from the trusty right boot of Russell Brown, who fired home from the penalty spot on the back of another pretty harsh handball decision from our increasingly likeable bunch of refs.

Annoyingly the Clash then leveled again. 2-2.

Our third came in the second quarter, a typical poacher’s goal from the returning Alan Plater, who deftly redirected a long shot from Gordon Deas past the keeper from a couple of yards out. 3-2.

We moved two clear in the same quarter with a delicious lob from Russell Brown, twenty yards out and central. Another moment of quality from the influential Brown.

But we saved our best for last. Our fifth and sixth goals were two brilliant clipped finishes from Jerome Bruhat, who was at his confident jinking best in this one and rightly named by Gordon as our man of the match.

Somewhere in the meantime the Clash had reduced the deficit from the penalty spot, but a victory for the Fives was never in doubt. Our greater work rate and superior skills in key areas delivered the correct result and a welcome confidence boost before the upcoming match against the Seconds (mid-table TML Div. 2).

Many thanks to Robert Walters Clash for coming out to Yokohama and giving us a game, and for sticking around for beers afterwards. We really enjoyed this one–it was what senior football is all about–and would love it to become a regular fixture in our calendar.

By Alex Hendy

Over 35s 2 v Kobe Regatta and Athletic Club 2

A desperate fight between officers of the law and YC&AC cowboys

The KRAC Corral, viewed from a local saloon the day before the deadly football showdown.

The first posse of YC&AC cowboys rode into Kobe on Friday the 13th, three of them aboard the Chu-Hi Express from Cashville. Diners in local steakhouse Miyasu ducked for cover as the saloon doors banged open and none other than Boz Holliday, Butch Plater and Ginger the Kid swaggered in, pistols cocked and plainly loaded.

The feared outlaws from the Eastern capital loudly greeted their YC&AC pardners, heretofore inconspicuously seated in a snug corner of the restaurant, chucked their bags against the wall, and settled down for what might very well be the finest steak dinner in the West.

As the mood eventually mellowed, talk turned from the complexities of Japanese train travel etiquette to the humdrum matter of YC&AC’s chances in the Interport sporting weekend ahead.

Some of us feared a testing start…

Daaarts!

First up on Friday night was the darts. YC&AC had triumphed over KR&AC on our own familiar boards in 2009, but on the Club’s previous visit to Kobe in 2008, an admittedly highly intoxicated young team suffered a humbling reverse against a crack KR&AC outfit.

Many of the same Kobe players were again in evidence as the YC&AC posse strode into the bar, fingers twitchily poised over our darts holsters.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BASTARD! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! NYAA!

Quick on the draw and merciless in the execution, YC&AC finished the contest in a flash. Kobe’s arrow flingers were simply no match for the sharp-shooting Yokohama outlaws. Victories in both team games, all four doubles matches, and all but two of the eight singles matches saw us blaze to a remarkable 12-2 triumph, our second biggest margin of victory ever, after a 14-3 in 1991. Marcel the Sundance Kid and Calamity Alex were the Club’s only casualties.

Over 35s Captain Gordon Deas would later be awarded the MVP pennant by Darts Captain Cynthia Groen for some inspired darts on the night. Butch Plater was excellent also in winning all his games, while Buffalo Buddy was another from the Fives to inflict maximum suffering.

First blood to the YC&AC. 1-0

Captains Will (KR&AC) and Cynthia (YC&AC) pose with the final scoreboard

The Reverse Hustle

Saturday morning, after a breakfast that wasn’t quite the fry-up for which some of us trekked many miles, we were back in the KR&AC bar for the pool.

Just a few days prior to the Interport, KR&AC had installed a bar-size pool table at the far end of the clubhouse, where in 2008 the YC&AC darts team had slumped on sofas for much of the weekend. YC&AC snooker captain me offered to help the KR&AC break the table in. Being squeezed for time and with limited numbers of players on hand, we agreed to make the competition a first-to-five games, sudden death affair.

YC&AC stormed into an early 3-0 lead with stylish wins from Petr Vyvial, Yachi Altinbay and Chris Harrington. Regular snooker players myself and Gordon however found it difficult to adjust to the small-table format (!), and though Simon Warburton came close and Gordon won the second of his two matches to make it 4-4 overall, Kobe were in the ascendancy when Buddy Ferrie entered the room…

Unfamiliarity with the local rules sadly contributed to Buddy’s downfall in the decider and a crushing come-from-in-front defeat overall.

4-5 in the pool, then.

1-1 in the Interport.

Shuttlecooocks!

Petr Vyvial. What a sportsman this fellow is. He doesn’t just play every sport, he’s good at them all. After quickly dispatching his opponent in the pool, Petr trotted upstairs for the lunchtime badminton competition, where he, Greg, Simon and Yachi would face typically excellent KR&AC opposition including a former Indian state champion.

YC&AC haven’t won in the badminton since 2002, and it is to Petr and Yachi’s enormous credit that they took one game at least off Kobe in this most difficult of Interport fixtures.

Pride in a 1-3 defeat.

Yachi and Petr on the way to an exciting victory in a close-fought, high-quality match
1-2 Kobe in the Interport overall then, as we moved outside for the football.

Peashooters!

YC&AC and KR&AC Firsts

Just two games to go, and the pressure was right on the Firsts to win their match and keep the Interport alive. The ref seemed to know it and unnecessarily took all the strain upon himself, flashing cards to three of our players inside the first fifteen minutes, all for nothing infringements.

The converted penalty in this spell for an unavoidable handball (yellow card) meant the Firsts had a long uphill battle ahead of them on Kobe’s expansive sandy pitch. For the first thirty minutes Kobe were like a rash over the YC&AC midfield, but eventually space opened up and the Firsts steadily grew into the game.

Matt Wallace deservedly drew YC&AC level in the first half with a fiercely struck right-foot volley from 16 yards out after a battling run and fine cross from the excellent Neil Shonhard down the right.

YC&AC shaded the second half for possession, with Ginger the Kid increasingly influential down the left, but Kobe’s shufflers snaffled a headed winner late on, and that was that for another year. You can read Joe Takeda’s report of the game here. Well played, lads. Good effort.

1-3, then, and as the Silver Machine rolled out for the showpiece event of the Interport, we had nothing to play for but pride. Well, that and the Over 35s Champions Chalice.

Plus one and missing Sada… Almost the starting line up, if memory serves

Narrow victors over the KR&AC in a feisty corresponding fixture at YC&AC last year but well beaten in Kobe in 2008, the Machine knew we’d be in for another battle to retain the Chalice.

Missing numerous influential regulars, we were grateful to some big names for helping out in this important fixture. Stepping in from the Seconds to add some steel at the back were Tim Williams and Steve McKie, while Graeme Lane and Phil Denham came in to add some quality and craft further forward. In goal we were delighted to welcome into the fold erstwhile First Team keeper Nobuhiro Koka.

The first verbals of what would become a grudgeful affair were exchanged pre-kickoff when the KR&AC’s Alan Gibson tried to smuggle Kobe’s young First Team star into the line up. Warned repeatedly that Kobe would forfeit the game if the captain did not remove said player, the integrity of the competition was eventually preserved and, more importantly, our chances increased.

Fifteen or so minutes in, KR&AC somehow found themselves in front after a minor calamity down the right side of our defense. Possession was lost in a dicey area and the ball was then worked across to the edge of the box, where a loitering Gibson shanked a shot off his shinpad that wobbled into the top left hand corner past the despairing dive of Koka in goal.

Undaunted, we soon pulled one back. Excellent football down our right flank saw the ball ushered across the pitch toward Marc Bailey, who gave it one more to allow an on-jogging me a clean shot on goal, 14 yards out and central. Typically the keeper somehow got something on the shot, but I latched on to the parry and at the third attempt bundled the ball over the line. 1-1.

Third quarter, and KR&AC moved ahead again with another squirty goal. One of their boys did Steve McKie for skill in our box and proceeded to the byline, where Gordon attempted to muscle in and usher out the ball. Unfortunately their man was able to manufacture a cross which, partly blocked by Gordon, ballooned up into the air and dropped perpendicular to our far post, where the combination of spin and a toe poke took it over the line. A sheer fluke.

Our second equalizer was a fantastic goal on the counter. YC&AC’s No. 17 took delivery in our own half of a cool pass out of defense and bombed forward with the ball, hotly pursued by a KR&AC midfielder. Aware of Gordon tearing into space down the right and screaming for it, ten yards into the Kobe half I curled a perfectly weighted pass with the outside of my boot into the channel for Gordon to chase onto. Our captain had plenty to do as he approached the ball close to the byline fractionally before their left back, but nevertheless managed to swing over a superb low cross which an on-running me then joyfully clipped past the keeper from six yards out.

What a goal! WHAT A GOAL!

I was wheeling away from the onion bag and blowing kisses to the Kobe architecture when a commotion caught my ear.

No…. NO! The linesman on the far side of the pitch appears to have his flag up in the air. Four or five Silvers are already right in his face telling him just what I’m thinking as I spot the ref trotting across to sort it out. Has he disallowed the goal? Surely not. I explain unpolitely that the ball was crossed backwards from practically on the byline with the last defender right on Gordon’s shoulder. It cannot be offside. I can tell by the embarrassed look in his eye that the ref knows this, but rather than confirm the facts with his linesman and point to the centre spot, he stops on the way to tell our enraged players to leave the official alone and get on with the game. He’s actually gone and ruled it out.

Honestly. We hadn’t been so angry since the last time we played Kobe.

1-2 then still, and more annoyed than ever we continue to drive forward. Meanwhile the refs (four in total, we endured) continue to give a foul for every fair tackle we make, and we are wrongly flagged offside any number of times more.

We had our defending to do too, mind you, and we will forever be grateful to Koka for pulling off two fantastic leaping diving saves to keep us in the game. The pick of our defenders though was Ippei Iwasaki, who was just outstanding, snuffing out danger early with his reading of the game and snapping into the tackles for the full duration. Indeed, Gordon had Ippei down as a close contender for the MVP award (won, I’m proud to say, by our No. 17).

Remarkably, as it happens, the last time Ippei played for the YC&AC in an Interport clash, he won the MVP award. I say remarkably, because that match was more than forty years ago, in 1969. Ippei was nineteen at the time and doesn’t look a lot older than that now!

Ippei Iwasaki’s MVP pennant from the 1969 Interport

WIth minutes to go, the Machine launches another desperate raid on the Kobe goal. On our last legs now, we do well to hold on to possession down the left and somehow find the strength to work the ball across and set up Boz with a chance for a shot on the edge of the box, central. Time stood still as Boz lined up his effort, visibly concentrating, shaping himself to keep the shot down, on target.

BANG! Great strike, but right at the keeper… Wha! It’s there! Like a bullet the ball flies straight through the keepers midriff and into the net.

The massed ranks of Silvers supporters on the touchline go wild. The Silvers on the pitch can barely summon the strength to punch the air. The natives look appropriately gutted.

2-2.

Peeep! The ref gets a decision right and blows for time.

The Over 35s retain the Interport Champions Chalice.

Party Time

Gordon Deas relaxes with the Chalice

Graeme Lane sports the tour’s pink hat for turning up late etc

From left, Sada Hosogai, Joe Takeda, Nobuhiro Koka, Ippei Iwasaki, Yaw Ofei Amoabeng

The two Steves. Spot the difference.

Squad: Back row, from left: Alan Plater (SA), Steve McKie, Tim Williams, Simon Warburton, Graeme Lane (TW), Marc Bailey, Alex Hendy, Gordon Deas (Capt.), Phil Denham, Petr Vyvial, Ippei Iwasaki, Buddy Ferrie; front row, Nobuhiro Koka (GK), Sada Hosogai

The night was but a dwarf when these pictures were taken, and much more fun was later had off-camera in the wonderful city that is Kobe.

Many thanks to our excellent hosts at the KR&AC, to those who stepped in to help out the Fives and gave it everything, to Marcel for sorting the excellent dinner at Miyasu, and especially to Shingo for making sure everything went smoothly.

Hi-yo, Silvers, away!

By Alex Hendy

Over 35s 6 v Seizan Kickers 2

The Fives mustered all their old battling qualities in this excellent come-from-behind victory over the strange side that is the Seizan Kickers. These guys look absolutely passionless about their football and don’t utter a word all game, at least not until the No. 119 comes on and squeals a bit. They’re not the worst oppo we face all season however, and this is always a game that needs to be won.

Typically then we made another bad old start.

Five minutes into the first quarter, Simon Litster in goal made the cold, wet conditions feel more unpleasant still with a moment of madness on the edge of his box which culminated in the gift of the first goal. Over the post-match beers Simon asked as to the legality of a keeper attempting to dribble the ball back into his own box under pressure in order that he may then pick it up. Kevin Carden confirmed that there is nothing in the rule book against such a scheme, but minded Simon to “never do it again.”

It was yet another Paul Blamire Shed End moment and one worthy of the great man himself.

Oh, we can laugh now, but when you’re out there in the freezing wet and not playing very well, it’s hard to see the funny side. So it was to our great credit that we raised our game a fraction and clawed our way back into the match.

Our first was a thing of beauty. Russell Brown looked to be enjoying his game as he exchanged passes with Andrew Barrett in midfield and bombed forward with the ball down the inside right channel. From the edge of the 18-yard box Russell then squared the ball back across to Andy, who duly spanked it into the back of the net. 1-1.

Seizan continued to play their stuff, however, and in no time at all we were back in arrears. Our defense looked unusually disorganized as we allowed their quite useful left-winger to bomb through yet again and tuck comfortably past a hideously exposed Simon. 1-2.

The rain was coming down sideways now. It was perishing, and we were in trouble.

But again the Fives lifted themselves. And again that man Russell Brown was involved. A corner for the Silver Machine this season is almost as good as a goal, as time and again we have capitalised on Russell’s superb deliveries from either side. It was from the right at the SPE on this occasion that Andrew Barrett rose to head emphatically past their quite good little keeper. 2-2.

All that in the first quarter (I think).

Second quarter and we pulled ahead in controversial circumstances. Not so long ago we had about as much chance of winning a penalty as Arsenal did for months after the Eduardo incident, but all of sudden the refs are giving them away. Russell chipped a ball against the left back’s hand and looked across bashfully to the official. Peep! Andrew completed his hat trick with a penalty punched emphatically into the top left hand corner.

Third quarter and we moved further ahead with a great goal. Chris Harrington in central mid took control of the ball and held it patiently while Jerome Bruhat accelerated into space down the left. Chris timed the release to perfection; Jerome took the pass in his stride, cut in with his second touch and with his third clipped the ball over the outrushing keeper. Top quality. 2-4.

In this quarter Simon Litster would redeem himself for his early blunder with some brilliant stops and out-charging sweeping goalkeeping. Simon was worth two goals in this period as their front man dashed through one on one before looking up and sensibly taking evasive action.

Fourth quarter and the Fives made it five with another Andy B header from an RB corner. A few of us were getting a bit jealous of Andy now, not least apparently Alan Plater on the sidelines, who before his injury had looked a shoo-in to retain his Golden Slipper.

Apparently oblivious to the concerns of others, Andy then made it six for the Fives and five for himself with a fantastic strike that proved to be the last kick of the game.

Kevin Carden describes it (because my memory is not the best and it’s been nominated as…):

Great goal. Big candidate for goal of the season. Started deep in our half. Loose ball picked up by Ed in the right back spot. The regular chap [ed. here we go...] was playing in the centre of the defence in this quarter having played in the centre of midfield in the third quarter and at his usual spot in the first quarter proving his all round versatility. Ed then plays a fast skidding ball up the line to Jerome who helps the ball on its way with an audacious back heel right into the path of the on running goal hero. One touch and whack! A low drive into the bottom right hand corner. Whole move conservatively estimated to have taken 2.5 seconds. Beers are on Andy.”

By Alex Hendy (and One Kevin Carden)

Goals: Andrew Barrett 5, Jerome Bruhat 1

Over 35s 5 v Tingu F.C. 1

Five minutes before kick-off on our first wet matchday of the season, things were not looking too clever for the Over 35s.

Only nine of the volunteered thirteen-man squad were present on the pitch in full kit, and two of them were still tasting the wasabi peas from a few hours earlier.

The mood was nevertheless or perhaps consequently oddly merry pre-kick-off. The return to the squad of the legendary Five Tom Chambers was unquestionably a factor in that.

Indeed, it was with barely a care that we recruited Sports Ops Manager Shingo Mishima for the vacant goalkeeper role and in the left-back slot accepted the kind offer of legs from that mustachioed ultra-veteran of Tingu, The Man Who Dies First in a Spaghetti Western.

Mindful perhaps of the 7-0 drubbing we had dished out to them in November, Tingu lined up for this one looking short and sheepish and beaten already. The Fives of course take no opposition for granted, and went right at it from the start.

And immediately found ourselves on top.

Dominant, frankly.

Though for some little while frustratingly without goals.

On the sidelines, a long-hamstrung Alan Plater sniffed blood. The Man with the Golden Slipper changed into his kit and rolled on the protective rubber…

Goal! On the stroke of quarter time the excellent Chris Harrington buries a header from a Russell Brown corner at the SPE. 1-0.

Second Quarter, and out wades Alan.

Goal! With his first touch, after who knows how many weeks away, our leading scorer registers yet again, popping up in the right place at the right time a yard out to prod home in Platery fashion.

And then suddenly it was three. Alan again was heavily involved, expertly cutting the ball back from the byline to present the Fives’ No. 17 with the sort of gilt-edged chance that only he could nearly spoon wide. 3-0, and the Silver Machine was purring.

Alas, what might have been a glorious return to the fold from Alan would become but a disappointing cameo, as with only his third involvement in the match he pulled up abruptly en-shoot with a recurrence of the old hamstring injury and trudged off looking totally and utterly forlorn.

From the Good to the Bad to the Ugly

Tingu had a player in the No. 29 who deserved to be in much better footballing company. This tirelessly enthusiastic and very skillful player deserved some reward for his efforts on the day, and it duly came. The otherwise excellent Shingo in goal (thanks, man) technically deserved to see red for bringing the crafty midfielder down with the rugby tackle that led to the converted penalty, but perhaps it’s best not to dwell too long on that.

The Fives promptly redoubled their efforts, and goals four and five quickly followed, both coming from the normally selfless No. 17. His first was a Fat Frank piledriver that ricocheted off the ass of some poor Philippe Senderos before nestling in the bottom left-hand corner at the PBSE; his second, a sexy toe poke in the opposite corner after more great work from Andrew Barrett out on the left.

The Silver Machine may have stalled on the choke earlier on this season, but we’re showing our quality now. As we accelerate through the final corner of the season, heaven help anyone caught in the straight.

By Alex Hendy

Goals: Chris Harrington, Alan Plater, Alex Hendy 3